Today, I want to share some advice that’s a bit different from the usual deep dives into records and historical events. This is more about the personal journey we all take as genealogists. You see, I used to be what you might call a “genealogy blowhard.” I was that guy who always had to one-up every story at family gatherings with a tale of an illustrious ancestor or a newfound cousin in some far-off land. But I’ve reformed, and I’d like to help you avoid the same pitfalls. Here are some tips from a recovering blowhard.
1. It’s Not About You
First and foremost, genealogy is not about you. Yes, your family tree is part of your identity, but remember that the people you’re researching had their own lives, challenges, and triumphs. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of discovering that you’re a distant relative of some historical figure, but keep in mind that your ancestors are more than just branches on your tree. They were real people with real stories. Celebrate their lives; don’t just use them to inflate your own sense of importance.
2. Share the Spotlight
When you’re passionate about genealogy, it can be tempting to dominate conversations with your discoveries. I’ve been there, and trust me, it doesn’t win you any friends. Instead, try to involve others in your enthusiasm. Ask your relatives about their memories and experiences. Share your findings in a way that invites participation rather than monopolizing the discussion. It’s amazing how much more you can learn when you listen as well as talk.
3. Be Humble in Your Discoveries
Finding an ancestor who played a significant role in history is thrilling, but it’s important to stay grounded. Avoid the temptation to embellish your findings or to present them in a way that makes you seem more important by association. Stick to the facts and share them with humility. Your family history is fascinating enough without the need for exaggeration.
4. Remember the Less Glamorous Ancestors
It’s natural to be excited about discovering ancestors who were famous, wealthy, or influential. However, don’t forget about the “ordinary” people in your family tree. The farmers, laborers, and homemakers all played crucial roles in shaping your family history. Their stories might not be as flashy, but they are just as important and often more relatable. Celebrate these ancestors and give them the recognition they deserve.
5. Avoid Bragging
There’s a fine line between sharing an exciting discovery and bragging about it. If you find yourself starting too many sentences with, “Did you know my ancestor…,” take a step back. It’s okay to be proud of your heritage, but try to share your stories in an engaging, inclusive way, rather than boastful.
6. Keep Learning
One of the best ways to avoid becoming a genealogy blowhard is to keep learning. The more you know, the more you’ll realize how much you don’t know. This humility can help you stay grounded and open-minded. Attend workshops, read books, and connect with other genealogists. You’ll not only improve your research skills but also gain a deeper appreciation for the diversity and complexity of family histories.
7. Focus on the Journey
Genealogy is a journey, not a destination. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of making new discoveries, but remember to enjoy the process. Celebrate the small victories and take the time to savor the stories you uncover. It’s not just about filling in the blanks on a chart; it’s about connecting with your past in a meaningful way.
8. Be Respectful
When researching and sharing your family history, always be respectful of your ancestors and their stories. This means avoiding sensationalism and respecting their privacy. Just because you can find information doesn’t mean you should share it indiscriminately. Be mindful of how your discoveries might affect living relatives and handle sensitive information with care.
9. Give Credit Where It’s Due
Genealogy is often a collaborative effort. Whether you’re working with relatives or fellow researchers or using the work of others as a foundation for your own research, always give credit where it’s due. Acknowledge the contributions of others and share your own findings generously. This not only builds good relationships but also fosters a sense of community among genealogists.
10. Enjoy the Ride
Lastly, remember to have fun. Genealogy can be challenging and sometimes frustrating, but it’s also incredibly rewarding. Embrace the surprises, enjoy the mysteries, and relish the moments of discovery. After all, this is a journey of personal connection and exploration. Don’t let ego or competitiveness overshadow the joy of uncovering your family’s past.
A Personal Anecdote
Let me share a quick story. When I first started my genealogy journey, I was so eager to impress my family with our illustrious lineage that I often overshadowed the very people I was trying to connect with. One day, my uncle, who had always been quiet during my enthusiastic monologues, pulled me aside and shared a simple yet profound piece of advice: “Remember, Will, it’s about the people, not the pedigree.” That moment was a turning point for me. I realized that the true value of genealogy lies in the connections we make with our past and with each other.
In conclusion, genealogy is a wonderful and fulfilling pursuit, but it’s important to approach it with humility and respect. By focusing on the people behind the names and dates, sharing your discoveries with others, and keeping an open mind, you’ll not only avoid becoming a genealogy blowhard but also enrich your own experience and that of those around you. Happy hunting, and remember to enjoy the journey!
